| if i have not love... |
[Monday
January 21st, 2008
8:55pm] |
i never write in here anymore...
and if you care.. i'm sorry.
love always finds it's way back home.
thank you jesus.
|
|
| predictable and fickle. |
[Saturday
September 15th, 2007
10:20pm] |
"the brown of your eyes
shows the dirt inside
and you're just a beggin theif
you always need somebody
to keep you company.
well she'll never be me
'cus she's not worth the keep.
You just need someone to hold,
or so i'm told..
but you've got so much pride,
its impossible to hide.
yea.. she'll never be me.
cus she's not worth the keep.
You're so stylish in your deicisions
so hip and trendy
well i hope she's the candy
on your arm
because i never could be
i'm worth more than being your trophy.
yea..she'll never be me.
because i'm worth the keep."
you're fickle
and i have better things to do with my time.
like fly to california
& do something important with my life
like being a part of something bigger than ME.
to work without pay for others.. to think about OTHERS
and not myself.
but you would never understand that.
because you're the most selfish person on the planet.
and i'm starting to worry why God made you that way..
scratch that.. why he let you turn into that. you're a monster.
you're outta control.
& i still love you.
but not for long.
i'll get on that plane
i'll leave this place
i'll forget your name
& i'll forget your face.
finally.
i hope.
God, i pray.
now that's said..
FRIENDS:
i leave this thursday.. to go to california
to be an intern for TOMS shoes.
its seriously and answered prayer.
and i could not be more excited.
or scared.
but i know God has some amazing plans for me.
look how far he's gotten me!?
it amazes me.
i ask that you pray for me while i am gone!
and also, if you dont know what TOMS is..
www.tomsshoes.com
every pair of shoes purchased, a pair is donated to a child in need.
go to that site..
fall in love..
and spread the love. :]
sorry i never update anymore.
i dont think anyone cares anyways.
love,
krissy leigh
|
|
|
[Monday
July 16th, 2007
2:47pm] |
jamie, from TWLOHA wrote this today:
"Dear jamie,
The only justice is love. Just let it go. You don't have to write back. You don't have to explain. This is not about being right. There is something true in the song that you can't stop listening to. You don't feel at home anywhere, but you feel at home when Aaron sings that song. Someone calling you a criminal does not make you a criminal, just as someone calling you a hero does not make you a hero. Nobody gets to name you. Find your identity in the one true place. If someone gives you something and then takes it back - that's okay. If someone says something or sees something, and then they don't - it's okay. Do not be like some broken lawyer, always asking for answers, always reaching for rewind. Guilt and regret, those are awful places. You know that. So don't live there. Do not despair. Do not be afraid. Grace is the interesting thing. Hope.
And God must be a pretty big fan of "today", because you keep waking up to it. You have made known your request for a hundred different yesterdays, but the sun keeps rising on this thing that has never been known. Yesterday is dead and over. Wrapped in grace. Those days are grace. You are still alive, and today is the most interesting day. Today is the best place to live.
These things deserve your attention: Your family, your friends, the people you will meet today, the strangers with their stories. "We are all in this together." It is absolutely true. That girl with cancer in her stomach and chaos in her mind. She's with us. That guy with tears in his eyes and ghosts in his heart. He loved her, and you could see it. You could see it, and you told him it wasn't his to carry. You told him about grace, and you told him about the song. And you believed it. You were certain of it. So if it's true for him, then isn't it also true for you?
Wake up. You're alive.
Your Friend,
jamie
PS: And that thing… I know you think about it a lot. I know you don't know what to do with it. It does not define you. It never did. Then or now. You can wear it around your neck. You can throw it to the sea. It doesn't matter. It's not your name. You are free."
it applies to my life so well.
he speaks words that my heart screams.
go ahead read it.. insert your name there instead.
♥
|
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| how the story ends is, love and tenderness. |
[Thursday
June 14th, 2007
11:29pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crushed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
shane & shane- acres of hope |
] |
He will allure her
He will pursue her
And call her out
To wilderness with flowers in His hand
She is responding
Beat up and hurting
Deserving death
But offerings of life are found instead
She will sing
She will sing
Oh, to You
She will sing as in the days of youth
As You lead her away
To valleys low
To acres of hope
Acres of hope
Here in the valley
Walk close beside me
Don’t look back
For love is growing vineyards up ahead
You have called me master
And though you’re in the dark here
Call me friend
And call me lover and marry me for good
She will sing
She will sing
Oh, to You
She will sing as in the days of youth
As You lead her away
To valleys low
To acres of hope
Acres of hope
How the story ends is
Love and tenderness in Him
Not safe, but worth it
So the valley’s up ahead
Or the ones we live
We’ll sing together
We’ll sing together
We will sing
We will sing
Oh, to You
We will sing as in the days of youth
As You lead us away
To valleys low
To acres of hope
Acres of hope
“Lord, sustain me in the valley. Give me ears to hear Your sweet tender voice and lead me in to acres of hope in this dry and weary land.”
"Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will sing as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt. ‘In that day,’ declares the LORD,’you will call me 'my husband'; you will no longer call me 'my master. (Hosea 2:14-16)
not once did i ever imagine this for her.
for us, or my family.
not once did i picture my wedding...or the birth of my children..without her sweet presence.
i am selfish in my flesh.
jesus i know you want her home.
please take her softly and sweetly.
this breaks my heart.
i miss you already mema...
i wish i could be there and hold your hand while you slip peacefully into slumber, and out of pain.
but mom says its better for me to remember you when you were better. when you were smiling.
you're going to smile again really soon. i promise.
please know that you are one of the greatest women ever to influence my life.
you are my joy.
and i will grow to be a better woman, someday..because of who you are to me.
i'll never forget that.
i love you.
always.
-your little girl.
|
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|
[Friday
April 13th, 2007
5:56pm] |
i forgot that i had this thing.
hello, dearest friends!
:)
|
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| coming close. |
[Wednesday
January 10th, 2007
3:05am] |
|
God, you are up to something.
you are up to something good.
although, you're always up to something
and, its always good in the end.
you are inexplicable.
i love you.
thanks for bringing this smile to my face.
♥
|
|
| inconsistent me : searching for consistency |
[Sunday
December 24th, 2006
2:32am] |
God be with her.
let her know shes not alone.
calm her fears, dont let her be afraid.
let her know that she is loved beyond all other love.
i dont understand why things have to change.
i dont understand the end of 2006.
why the people i love the most in this world must leave,
intentionally or unintentionally
now or soon.
i dont understand your will
i dont have a clue what you have planned for my future.
please put peace in my heart.
about her.
about him.
about me.
i want to be okay with you.
i want to rest peacefully with the faith that all ends well that begins with You.
heal my heart God, and please let this be the last time it breaks.
i'm seeking you in these situations.
just let me see your face..
i wish i could fix everything.
put all of the pain and worry on my own body.
i want to live with no regrets.
yet i'm held down with so many burdens.
help me to trust you..
help me to hand them over at your feet.
i know i'm not in the christmas spirit this year.
but things are so hard.
we feel let down.
we're selfish God,
i know that you are all we need.
thirst
hunger
protection
rest
peace
joy
happiness
contentment
comfort
forgiveness
&
love
remind me please.
i love you, and i want to be thankful for you.
i want to be thankful of you for sending us your son,
our savior.
its just so hard this year.
i'm not perfect.
but i'm trying.
just please dont be let down by us and our ungrateful spirits.
don't take it to heart, God. we are just stone cold.
remind me, please.
♥
|
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| this is more than i can handle |
[Sunday
December 10th, 2006
10:46pm] |
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
God i need you now more than ever.
|
|
| thanksgiveING |
[Saturday
November 25th, 2006
8:00pm] |
this is long.
but i wrote if for those who care about the condition of me and the people i care about..
this thanksgiving was one of true meaning.
i've learned now, more than ever before how thankful i am for my family.
here's my trip to VA:
day one:
(monday) we left at four oclock in the morning to drive 8 hours from Georgia to Virginia.
as soon as we got there we drove straight to the hospital to visit mema (where i spent most of my time)
mema was doing really good when we first got there. i didnt expect her to look and sound as good as she did.
i walked into her ICU room and she looked at me and smiled and said "i got you here anyways." in slow careful, well thought out speech. she said that because we were not planning on going home this year for thanksgiving like we usually do.
i was so suprised that she could even talk.
it was wonderful.
i spent the whole day there with my mom, mostly in the waiting room, taking turns visiting her.
she started moving her right arm and her speech was slowly getting better.
i kissed her goodnight and told her i loved her, and she said "uh huh! tank you"
:) she couldnt say the words "i love you"
it was the cutest thing.
day two:
me and mom were on our way to the hospital when we got a call from my mom's mom (my other mema)
she said that mema had a really bad night.. that she had back tracked. almost as if she had another stroke.
--let me stop here and tell you that the doctors gave her a catscan after her initial stroke on sunday, however not ONE DOCTOR had spoken to my mema or uncle or anyone about her condition.--
we arrived only to find mema, not being able to speak nearly at all, and her right arm dead again.
when she DID speak she kept asking about her arm, calling it "that dumb thing" and feeling for it.
she said (in so many words) that she felt like it wasnt her body.
she'd laugh at herself for not being able to speak and then she'd start to cry.
cry because she was depressed that this was happening to her.
day three:
we arrived at the hospital to find mema in MUCH better conditions.
she was speaking again and moving her right arm.
my sister went with me and mom to visit her.
since she was in the icu room, only two visitors are allowed at a time.
so me and hannah spent our visits together.
the doctor gave me a speech sheet that had different words for her to practice..
it had all of the numbers 1-10, the days of the week, months of the year, and then sentences that she had to finish.
i coached her, and it was such an odd feeling teaching your mema how to speak.
i felt bad because i felt like i was treating her like a 3 year old.
she's such a trooper though, she just smiled and tried her best.
we took can't out of her vocabulary though.
i told her i'd make her a pumpkin pie, but whenever i hear the word "cant" come out of her mouth i'd take a bite away from her piece of pie. :)
it worked wonders.
she kept saying "you know" and "i cant say that"
she said things so clearly when she wasnt thinking
that night she was doing so well they moved her into a regular hospital room on the 6th floor.
:) progress!!!
day four:
thanksgiving!!!
so i realized that i didn't know how to make pumpkin pie.
but i learned really fast! and i made a DELICIOUS one. i was so proud of myself.
chris will never believe i actually made good food. haha.
my dads brother and family came into town.
i got to meet my new baby cousin..Anna Mason.
she's such a cutie.
and she's a cuddler. :)
i ate alot of food. but doesnt everyone on thanksgiving?
went to see mema again that night. brought her pumpkin pie.
she smiled and said "you try, you know..you try to make me better."
then she proceeded to tell me that she didnt want to go home..
when i asked her why she said "then all the peoples will be gone and not see me"
i felt so bad. i wish i could've stayed there and taken care of her.
day five:
we went shopping as every human does on black friday.
i bought a necklace. thats it.
i spent most of my time showing the little cousins how to record a song on garage band at the apple store on the HUMUNGUS mac screens and pianos.
that was fun.
went to visit mema for the last time.
she wanted to cry i could tell. she wanted us to stay.
she tried to tell me that she loved me but for some reasons those words she has trouble with.
she said "you know"
i do.
its so hard to see her like that. looking so old.
i've never thought of her to be old.
she's looked the same since iwas born.
still dying her hair brown and wearing trendy clothes.
thats just her.
i've never imagined my graduation from college..or mostly my WEDDING without her.
and this forced me to.
i didnt like it at all.
i told her to practice her alphabet and that i had my ways of finding out if she did her homework.
:)
went back to my dads moms house and watched national lampoons christmas vacation with that family.
tradition.
today:
woke up at 5 to drive 8 hours back home.
on the car ride back to GA we got a phone call saying that mema had backtracked more than ever last night.
she cannot speak at all.. her right side of her face is drawn.
and her right arm and leg are dead again.
they took another catscan but nothing has changed.
so she is there, worse than ever.
and i am here 8 hours away.
it sucks.
and i think that partially, she got worse because she didnt want us to leave.
i wish i didnt have school.
i'd go sleep at the hospital and feed her and coach her speech.
i'd just be there for her.
i love her so much.
and this thanksgiving i learned just how grateful and THANKFUL i am for her.
God please watch over her.
take care of her, put peace in her.
happy thanksgiving everyone.
♥
|
|
| i'm sorry |
[Sunday
November 19th, 2006
9:11pm] |
i'll tell you i'm sorry, i can't take this pain from you.
i'd put it all on my own body, if i knew how to.
 </a>
my mema had a stroke today.
she is one of the most influential women in my life.
i love her with all of my heart...
please pray for her.
she cannot speak, and cannot move the entire right side of her body.
i never expected this from a woman so incredibly strong and young at heart.
i'm leaving tonight to see her.
we're driving 9 hours to VA..
and spending thanksgiving there.
i'm missing three classes at school,
and thanksgiving with chris's family.
but its all worth it for her.
thank you in advance for your prayers.
i love you.
|
|
| i needed this so much. |
[Thursday
November 9th, 2006
1:07pm] |
dear krissy,
"i see you down there everyday
trying to find a different way
to build a some kind of ladder to the sky
trying to find some way to see
the secrets of eternity
but they don't come all at once
and don't know why
well how do you think it feels to hear you screaming out my name
while all the while i'm trying to open up your heart
i see you when you cry yourself to sleep
and its tearing me apart
I KNOW YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ME
THAT'S THE WAY IT HAS TO BE
SOMEDAY YOU WILL UNDERSTAND
DON'T YOU LOSE YOUR FAITH IN ME
I KNOW YOU WISH YOU COULD HEAR ME
SOMETIMES IT'S SO HARD TO DO
BUT EVERY MORNING SUNRISE SAYS
I'M MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU
YES I'M MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU
YES I'M MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU
YES I'M MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU
i know that you're waiting for
a chance to come in from the war
if only a moment
if only a day
a place where you feel safe and warm
a sanctuary from the storm
until all these questions
fade away
i cannot count all of the signs you've passed away as mere coincidence
and i'm running out of ways to break through
like a lonely lover waiting by the ocean
i'll never give up on you
I KNOW YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ME
THAT'S THE WAY IT HAS TO BE
SOMEDAY YOU WILL UNDERSTAND
DON'T YOU LOSE YOUR FAITH IN ME
I KNOW YOU WISH YOU COULD HEAR ME
SOMETIMES IT'S SO HARD TO DO
BUT EVERY MORNING SUNRISE SAYS
I'M MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU
YES I'M MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU
YES I'M MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU
YES I'M MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU"
Love,
Your Jesus
go to my myspace.
listen to the song.
its to you.
|
|
| its my burfday! |
[Sunday
November 5th, 2006
9:48am] |
i'll edit this after the day is over, and my nineteenness has set in.
:)
love you.
|
|
| captivating |
[Wednesday
November 1st, 2006
1:06pm] |
i woke up this morning with a mission.
to seek Gods beauty through his creation.
to be captivated by him through my surroundings.
this is what i woke up to outside of my window:
last night i went to 722, and the message was exactly what i needed to hear.
here's the dish:
There is so much pain and suffering in this world,
and all I can seem to express is "where in the world is God on this one?"
"Why is God doing this to me?"
I tend to focus on the negative things in life,
getting angry, upset, and hurt over & over again..
all of the while frustrated with my God for allowing this to happen again.
there's so much i've over looked.
everything around me is beautiful and blessing.
i am blinded by the bad things, just tripping over all of
his wonderful blessings in the darkness.
God has given us 5 built in ways to worship him..
sight, scent, sound, taste, & touch.
01:sight:
look around yourself, what do you see?
God's creation is the most beautiful, intracate creation.
the green grass, and the yellow shining sun.
the bluest sky with puffy white clouds..
go look.
the leaves are orange and red and yellow.
the beautiful starfilled sky at night.
its one of my most favorite things.
THAT IS GOD.
he is captivating, romancing us with his beautiful work.
02:scent:
do you ever realize how memorable scents are?
a scent reminds you of things, people, places..
i love that.
i smell baby powder and i think about when hannah & evan when they were babies in my arms.
i smell old spice/red zone deoterant.. i always think
about freshman year when i met chris.
i smell an old garage and i think about my papa who i miss so much.
i smell spaghetti cooking on the stove and i just know mom is cooking
a yummy dinner downstairs.
flowers and spices and food and even the laundry detergent your best friends
wash their clothes in.
they all hold sentimental value.
THAT IS GOD.
he is sharing his creation with us!!
03:sound:
a loved ones voice, a baby crying, crickets at night, a thunderstorm,
a crowd cheering, your grandpa snoring, food sizzling, ocean tide, a clock ticking,
children laughing, birds chirping, a door being opened, and everything musical.
THAT IS GOD.
he is expressing his love in a musical language.
04:taste:
i dont even have to explain this.
one bite of cheese cake and you know what i mean.
our bodies only need calories, we could live off of bread and milk..
but God says, "No, enjoy yourself! taste the glory of my creation."
he could of stopped after manna..but no!
there are millions of tastebuds on our toungues,
not because we need them. why?
THAT IS GOD.
he is expressing our love for us by providing more than what we NEED.
05:touch:
my favorite.
the speaker made us close our eyes.
then she told us to put our hand up to our neighbors hand.
we put our palms together and then she told us to slide our fingers slightly to the right
and down.
this caused us to clasp eachothers hands.
immediately i knew what she was talking about.
touch is something that we need, and enjoy.
i felt that in my heart.
THAT IS GOD.
making himself TANGIBLE through the touch of others!
being a Christian is not about living right.
its about living to the FULLEST.
being a Christian isn't about doing good deeds.
its about REACTING to THE GOOD DEEDS that God has already done FOR us..
lightbulb?
yea, total lightbulb for me.
he is everywhere around us.
in what we see, smell, hear, taste and feel.
God is the I AM.
i love that.
AND girls:
i've learned this the past two weeks.
i know you feel like you arent being pursued.
i know you feel like you arent beautiful.
i know you feel like you arent ENOUGH.
let me say this:
God is pursuing you. every day, every hour, ever minute, every second.
He is CAPTIVATED by who you are and he is RAVISHED by your beauty.
you are the beautiful bride.
and you are EVERYTHING to him.
i hope that comforts you, like it has me.
God is chasing you, pursuing you, captivated and ravished by YOU.
God is IN LOVE with your soul.
every girls dream right?
take delight in Him.
take delight in his awesome glory,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
because you're heart...means the world to him.
i challenge you.
open your eyes to God's glory.
drink it in, soak it up.
thats why its here.
for our enjoyment.
DELIGHT in Gods Creation.
and delight in yourself.
you are just as much a masterpiece.
you are his creation.
love that in you.
embrace that.
take notice of the beauty in and around you.
REACT to it.
what a beautiful act of worship.
♥
thank you God,
for pursing my soul.
thank you God,
for being captivated by me,
for being ravished by my beauty.
thank you God,
for loving me...
in spite of me.
|
|
| pray |
[Wednesday
October 25th, 2006
10:34pm] |
God thank you for saving her.
i know you have big plans.
please,
dont let me let me down
i love you.
i pursue you.
♥
|
|
|
[Thursday
October 12th, 2006
10:48am] |
Kite Day
i am so blessed
|
|
| if home is where the heart is, my heart is where you are. |
[Tuesday
September 26th, 2006
11:53am] |
so this past weekend was great.
i still cant believe my sister is 14.
she's starting highschool next year.
THATS CRAZY.
she's so beautiful. dont get me wrong, she's always been beautiful to me.
but its like this past weekend i looked at her in a different light.
she's not my baby sister anymore..
she's growing up... and she's beautiful.
my family went to the aquarium for her birthday.
i'm not gonna lie..i was sort of dissapointed.
i mean..it was beautiful, and i had fun.
but the windows were small and there were way too many people.
and we got done early..so it wasnt as big as i expected.
but never the less it was still great, and we had fun.
it was hard to get good shots because there were so many window hoggers.
but here are some photos:
( GA Aquarium & more )
so i've decided college sucks.
but we wont dwell on the negative.
this weekend is going to be lots of fun.
taking promo's for Nate's band on friday.
hoping to goodness they'll turn out WONDERFUL.
leaving friday night for Clemson with chris.
meeting up with his family to visit Lee and his girlfriendFIANCE!!
(i still cant believe Lee is getting married)
when did everyone grow up?
come quick weekend!!!!
♥krissy leigh
|
|
| Oh! |
[Thursday
September 21st, 2006
1:18pm] |
phil told me i looked like a black girl today.
 
must be the monaaayyyyyyy!
its weird that i get to see them every weekend.
but right this second..
i miss my mom, i miss hannah and evan...
i miss chris.
i miss alycia.
i miss my friends.
oh the glory of college life!!! :]
i saw Borat last night.
premiere.
dont see it.
unless you're up for the most REPULSIVE, VULGAR, CRUDE & HILARIOUS movie ever.
its bad.
but so good.
haha.
love
♥
me
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